Rachel Lindsay was feeling a mixture of emotions after now-estranged husband Bryan Abasolo proposed to her on The Bachelorette.

“I felt weird. I can’t say exciting was the word. I was scared,” Lindsay, 39, admitted on the Tuesday, April 6, episode of the “Getting Grilled with Curtis Stone” podcast. “I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, now I have to tell my parents that I got engaged,’ because when I left to go do The Bachelor[ette], I was like, ‘Don’t worry, I’m not going to fall for any of these men,’ and I did, so I was so terrified to tell them.”

Lindsay recalled looking at her engagement ring after Abasolo, 44, popped the question while her fiancé was “excited.” She added, “I was very quiet on the way home. I was weirded out.”

“After that first night, I was like, there’s potential here, but I still was like, ‘There’s no way I’m gonna marry this person.’ And even when you get engaged at the end, it’s the scariest day when the cameras shut down,” she said. “But you have this ring on your finger, and there’s this man, and for the first time, you ride in the car together, you’re going to the same hotel room together. It’s like, this is the beginning of your new life.”

Behind closed doors, Lindsay said she and Abasolo realized they “actually really have a lot in common.” She recalled thinking, “We’re really good together and I’m excited about what’s to come.”

The twosome went on to tie the knot in Mexico in August 2019. In January, Abasolo filed for divorce after four years of marriage. While reflecting on their split, Lindsay said she “learned a lot” from her former partner. “It ran its course,” she said.

Despite Lindsay seemingly being at peace with her split from Abasolo, the exes’ ongoing divorce has been messy. In May, Abasolo filed court documents, obtained by Us Weekly, requesting spousal support and that Lindsay pay his $75,000 in legal fees. He also claimed the duo were still living together, causing a “strained and awkward” dynamic.

Earlier this month, Abasolo alleged in separate court documents obtained by Us that Lindsay referred to him as a “leech” in a text message while sending a spousal support payment.

As the divorce continues, Lindsay said she is looking forward — even dipping her toe into the dating pool. “Dating is a big chapter … So that’s gonna be new. That’s a whole new experience, because I haven’t done it, really since my twenties,” she explained. “So I don’t know what I’m gonna be like in that world. So that’s new. Or if I even want it, you know? Divorce is such a tricky thing. I don’t even know how I’m going to feel about all that.”

Lindsay noted that she sees a family in her future. “That is something that I really want that is important to me. I really want children,” she said. “And I have to keep saying it and remind myself because I want — 1. I wanna manifest it. But 2. It’s very real to me, and I want that. I didn’t get that before, so going forward, that is something that I would want.”