Sonequa Martin-Green opens up about how hard it was to play the season 1 version of Michael Burnham again in Star Trek: Discovery season 5. Captain Michael Burnham came face-to-face and even fought her past self in the time travel-centric Star Trek: Discovery season 5, episode 4, “Face the Strange,” which was written by Sean Cochran and directed by Lee Rose. Past and future Burnham meeting each other hammered home to Michael and to the audience just how far she has come in Star Trek: Discovery’s 5 seasons.

Screen Rant was at STLV: Trek to Vegas when Sonequa Martin-Green elaborated on how “hard” it was to play Star Trek: Discovery season 1’s Michael Burnham again in her panel with David Ajala. Answering a fan question, Martin-Green explained what it was like for her to experience the “hopelessness” the younger Burnham felt again, but Sonequa also called playing the two Burnhams “phenomenal” and “a big gift.” Read Sonequa’s quote and watch the video below:

It was hard! And I wasn’t expecting it to be. I was really excited about it. I know it was gonna be fun. Just the idea of coming face-to-face with your past that way. It really hit me as well. Like, reading the script, as Burnham, whoa, I really really have grown so much. And what a gift to be able to show that growth. Gotta big ups the writers for that. But… it’s just like what Burnham says. ‘I forgot how hopeless this time was.’ That’s how it felt for me too. Stepping back into a place of hopelessness, stepping back into a place of complete insecurity… I was like, Ooh, I don’t wanna be here no more. I came out of this. So it was challenging, but once I was there, it was phenomenal. What a time. It was a big gift that the show gave me.

Michael Burnham Changed Throughout Star Trek: Discovery

Burnham had a Star Trek character arc like no other

Captain Michael Burnham’s Star Trek: Discovery arc saw her battle back from disgrace to become perhaps the most important starship captain of the 32nd century. Star Trek: Discovery season 1’s Michael Burnham was, indeed, a very different person who was repenting for her hubris that turned Michael into Starfleet’s first mutineer. But Burnham found her best self and regained her status as Commander at the end of Star Trek: Discovery season 1 before Michael became the center of the USS Discovery’s found family and led them on a one-way trip 930 years into the future.

Michael Burnham was made Captain of the USS Discovery at the end of Star Trek: Discovery season 3, and she grew and changed with the burdens and challenges of Discovery’s center seat. But Michael’s relationship with Cleveland Booker also made her whole; while their love story was complicated, Burnham and Book realized they were each other’s endgame. Star Trek: Discovery‘s series finale gave Michael Burnham a happy ending with Book as a wife and mother, as well as the rank of Admiral, showing just how far Burnham has come.